What can Brown do for you?

Graduation has come and gone for me and while I search for a job that fits my career goals in a shattered economy all I can do is make comparisons between the state of America and the free fall of the Cincinnati Bengals.

The Financial crisis has made consumers afraid to consume and the 1-8-1 Bengals and their pathetic product have caused fans to reverse all optimism. While Capitol Hill might be able to bail us out of this fiscal nightmare by investing the the lousy financial institutions that caused this mess, I doubt Mike Brown will receive such treatment from the governing czar of the NFL, Roger Goodell.

It has gotten to such a point where fans have started a website and collection to pay for Billboards around the city of Cincinnati calling for a front office makeover of the Bengals. See whodeyrevolution.com.

Are these fans justified? Absolutely. Perhaps the only other franchise in more peril and stripped in more losing tradition is the Detroit Lions, and they protest their team annually.

Again the Bengals have a similarity to the political climate where the leadership has obtained the lowest approval rating in its history and changes are being sought. Sadly for Bengals fans the election of an African American President with a muslim name was more likely than anything being changed in the front office of the Bengals. Katy and Troy Blackburn will continue to run the show and Pete Brown will trudge along as the head of the smallest scouting department in all of football and Mike Brown will drag himself out of his cavern once a year to address the media.

The fans of Cincinnati will have to force change by financial responsibility and keep their credit card debt down by refraining from seat licensing bids and season tickets. If the product stinks, don’t buy it. I’d be happy just to make Mike Brown have one less night of caviar hors d’oeuvres. Even the smallest hint of perspective to the most oblivious man in professional sports should be considered a victory. Oh the woes of being a Bengals fan.

Bob’s NFL trend prediction

So there have been some rule changes this season in the NFL. None are going to have a bigger impact than the helmet communication system being implemented for the defensive side of the ball. If you haven’t heard, there has been a big controversy about the New England Patriots videotaping the defensive signals of opposing teams. While “Spygate” has received national media coverage, the responsible parties, namely Bill Belichick and Charlie Weis have been largely exonerated of their involvement, in my opinion. That is besides the point. Read the following:

The new helmet communication system for the defensive side of the ball enables two players on the defense to have an ear-piece in their helmet that allows the defensive coordinator to call in the alignment, coverage and scheme for a particular play. Only one player with the ear-piece is allowed on the field at a time and the two players with the ear-piece are identified with a green dot on the the outside of the helmet. Communication from the defensive coordinator, or who ever calls in the play, is cut off when there is 15 seconds remaining on the play clock.

This is a greatly overdue addition to the professional game of football. Why should the offense be able to call in their play and the defense have to use visible language to communicate their call? And why should it take a league-shaking controversy to cause such a policy to be implemented? Just like any other governing body in the United States, the NFL is slow to adapt to reality.

Now that we are up to date on the new rule change and my personal opinion of the state of affairs, we can get to the point of this blog.

I am predicting a serious resurgence of the defensive side of the ball this season. It would be niave to think that sign stealing was a hobby of just the New England Patriots. In a league made of parity and cash, you have to believe every team was bending the rules of the game and morality to gain an edge. Therefore, the offenses ability to anticipate a defenses formation, blitz, coverage, etc. has been greatly reduced. Also consider that not only can a defensive coordinator call in the next play, he has a significant amount of time to give his analysis of a particular players performance on the field and tell the ear-piece-welding player to convey the message. A view/opinion of a coach from the coaches box is a lot clearer than that of a view/opinion of a screaming assistant on the side line.

Expect a serious drop in conversions on third downs this season due to these facts. On a down as critical as the third, the coordinator now has the ability to get into the brain of the leader of the defense and get his critiques onto the field just like the offensive coordinator has been able to do for years and years.

Speaking from a Fantasy Football point of view, I believe in this prediction so fervently that I would suggest drafting a defense higher in some cases than a second quarterback or even a second wide receiver or running back. If I turn out being wrong…lay it on me. But if I turn out being right…do not forget me.

The Good for the Bengals

One of my favorite times of the year is approaching, Bengals training camp. Ah there is nothing like the drive down to Georgetown and getting to see your team work hard to bring a winner back to Cincinnati. So in anticipation of Summer football, here is my perception of the Bengals from an optimists’ point of view.

The Good:

Rookies Keith Rivers, Pat Sims, Andre Caldwell and Jerome Simpson provide depth and promise in areas of concern. Keith Rivers has been wowing the media and coaching staff with his maturity, leadership qualities and athleticism. Defensive line coach Jay Hayes likes what he sees in Pat Sims but needs him to adopt his tempo and practice methods.

“The most important thing he has to do is learn how we do things, not how he has been doing them. And I’m not saying those were bad things. He’s a wide guy that has quickness to him,” Hayes said.

This is good news since the biggest knock on the Bengal’s defense for years has been the inability to stop, or even slow the running game of opposing offenses.

The addition of a rookie receiver as polished as Andre Caldwell has given reasons for optimism as well. Caldwell caught 16 touchdowns and 175 receptions in his four year career with the Florida Gators, which gives him a sturdy resume of production and experience you do not usually find in rookie receivers.

As for Jerome Simpson, the voluntary workouts have been a bit of a tease regarding his potential talent. No one questions his work ethic and athleticism, as evidenced by post practice sessions with fellow wide out Marcus Maxwell and quarterback Carson Palmer and a highlight reel filled with ridiculous “How did he catch that?” grabs. The issue in practice has been his tendency of needlessly laying out to catch every ball thrown at him.

The Bengals also made a respectable move by locking up one of their most promising young players, Domata Peko. His new five-year deal ensures the Bengals will have one of the hardest working and highest character players in Cincinnati for a long time.

“He’s getting better and better. He has great effort. You never have to worry if he’s going hard enough,” Hayes said.

More good news on the defensive side of the ball is that the Bengals have two of the league’s better young corners, Johnathan Joseph and Leon Hall, entrenched in their starting positions and fully healthy entering training camp. The depth behind them isn’t too shabby either with Deltha O’Neal operating as the nickel corner.

And for the first time in a long time there is a significant battle in the tail-end of the secondary between safeties. Chinedum Ndukwe, or as I like to call him “Duke Nukem”, is battling former Superbowl MVP Dexter Jackson for the strong safety position. At free safety is Marvin White who looks to be the starter but has rookie Corey Lynch and a bevy of special teams aces looking to push him out of the line up.

Also note the exit of character cancers Odell Thurman and Chris “I love the view behind bars” Henry.

So rejoice Bengals fans, the hard-nosed coaching style of Mike Zimmer on defense and the promising youth on either side of the ball should allow you to be cautiously optimistic that the Bengals will have a shot at putting the Browns back in the AFC North gutter and finally securing some revenge on the Steelers for Carson Palmer’s knee.

Close Quarters with the Opposite Sex

Depending on your perspective, I have a pretty unique living situation. The typical guy might say, “Awesome dude, how did you work that?” or the more homophobic guy might say, “Uhh, are you gay?”

You see, I live with four girls. And to answer both the typical and homophobic questions, I don’t know how it happened, and no I am not gay. But living in the basement of a house with four members of the opposite sex directly above me has been a very educational experience for me. Unlike my previous roommates, all males, these roommates give me a different perspective of college life.

Before I lived with these ladies I only knew the man’s approach to college:

“Drink lots of beer. Attend at least 3 classes a week, but no more than 6. Watch as much sports as possible. Eat Taco Bell when hungry. Pretend you are still moderately athletic even though you rarely play anything but Cornhole.”

The woman’s approach is significantly different:

“Watching Grey’s Anatomy even if it is raining fire outside. Compare boyfriends disgusting habits. Talk about getting married occasionally. Study and attend class regularly. Plan for the future daily. Drink Socially and under control. Go to Bob when you have a clogged toilet or rodent problem.”

Outside of the obvious, I have learned that women take criticism MUCH more seriously than men and they also hold endless grudges. However, women stick together and stay in contact more regularly than men, and also are significantly cleaner.

Do I miss being able to knock on my old roommates door at 2 PM on a Tuesday and shove a beer in his hand? You bet. But these roommates offer their own kind of support. The type that makes you feel like you don’t have to bottle everything up if something is wrong. And I will miss that too.

Academic Advisers

This will be my lone crying blog. If there is one thing this school has completely let me down on, its the academic advising staff. Up until this year I had scheduled all my classes on my own and figured out what I required on my own. I never visited my communication adviser until the beginning of my senior year here at Ohio State. Most of my friends felt I was crazy for not checking in at least once a quarter but I am a very independent person and like to handle my problems on my own if at all possible.

As it turned out I did a pretty damn good job of staying on top of what I needed to schedule and staying relatively on time. These days not many students make it through a school that runs the quarters system in four years but I am one of them….or am I?

After three years of avoiding the advising staff I finally went in to clear some up some muddles I had. Firstly, I had joined the school of communication in Winter of 2006, however I was required to fulfill the requirements of a student that joined in Spring of 2006, after there were some academic changes. It took a screaming match to actually get one of the advisers to look and see that I was under the wrong requirements and I finally got that changed.

So after that problem I became suspicious of the competency of the staff and continually checked upon things. Recently they placed a course I took under the wrong requirement and insisted I would have to return for Autumn quarter to complete that requirement. Of course all they had to do was move that class out of my general academic credit dog pile and put it in the integrated communication requirement.

Then they tried to convince me I needed another language course even though I have taken four and do not need anymore. They were so stubborn about this that I had to go above their head and have an Arts and Sciences adviser look and see that I was in fact, correct.

In summary, going to the communication advisers office here is an enormous pain in the ass and I equate it to a visit to the Bureau of Motor Vehicles. I had better luck on my own and probably would have been out of here by the end of Spring quarter if I hadn’t actually consulted them for help.

Evil Cable Companies

In my media economics class I was assigned to research the business model of a cable company or “Multiple System Operator” as they are called in television. I had previously heard casually that the FCC is the real evil in the television industry because of the endless regulations they enforce upon the different channels and networks. From a certain point of view the FCC can be viewed as restricting public speech but that is from a pretty extreme perspective.

To me, the real evil is being done by the MSO’s like Comcast and Time-Warner. Through my research I found that these cable Gods receive 80 percent of their revenue from subscribers and the other 20 percent comes from local/regional advertisers. That doesn’t really make them evil corporations but it shows the shift in the traditional television revenue of advertising. What makes me worried is what I found about how cable companies reach agreements with municipalities to have local monopolies over service.

That’s right, I used the “M” word. Monopolies aren’t good things unless you are playing as the shoe in the board game and you own all the utilities. In some regards, the cable companies do own all the utilities as they bid to local municipalities to feature only their service. The MSO’s offer six to eight percent of their revenues to the local government in return for allowing them to set up their system in the region and not allow other service providers to compete in that area. It’s a dirty business of offering different incentives to the local governments and the bidding process is basically a bribing war of which MSO will give the government more cash.

Now good things do come from this bidding war like funding for libraries and public access television studios, but the local monopoly obviously restricts competition between the cable companies allowing them to basically charge what ever they feel to subscribers in that region. This is terrible for the average joe who has been steadily watching his cable bill rise even though the MSO’s have been making ridiculous profits since the nineties. In fact, the big cable companies have not been in any sort of debt since the eighties.

What else is scary is that these cable corporations have become so diversified and huge that they own other mediums of entertainment you wouldn’t know about unless you bothered to investigate. For instance, DirecTV has become a popular alternative to cable but did you know that it is owned by News Corporation which is also the parent company of Fox, Myspace, The New York Post and of course dozens of cable television channels and movie studios. Time-Warner obviously owns numerous channels and movie studios but it also owns Golf Monthly, Mad Magazine and Mapquest.

I don’t know if you share the same concern I do about so many different forms of media being owned by only a half dozen giant diversified corporations, but what I do know is this has to hurt the diversity of opinion being published or broadcasted by the media. But beyond the monsters these corporations have become, what bothers me the most is the local monopolies they live off of. It hurts us as consumers and it is against the principles of the market economy.

The great hope is for the rise of satellite providers to continue and for consumers to rally against the current system in place. Local officials would have to be elected to office that would ensure competition between the cable companies in their jurisdiction and ensure there wouldn’t be any price gouging. Until then our cable bills are going to follow the trend of gas prices and continue to rise.

Spring Time Festivities

Cornhole: Sounds dirty yes, but there aren’t many things on this good planet that are more wholesome and enjoyable. Two boards, two holes, four people, eight bags of beans, and 21 points. It would be difficult to find a single person on campus who doesn’t play at least one game of Cornhole in a weekend. The origins of this game can spark quite a debate but rest assured, it is from the West side of Cincinnati and Southeastern Indiana.

Pong: This is probably the least hygienic social activity outside of playing blood brothers. Sometimes referred to as Beirut, the object of the game is to make a ping pong ball into the cups of your opponent, causing them to drink the contents of their cup. The game requires nerves of steel and a working thumb and index finger. There’s not another activity on campus that can make or break a friendship like Pong.

Ladder-Golf: This game’s meteoric rise to popularity has been a lot like the rise of the Buckeyes in the Polls last season I might say. The three levels of the ladder are worth 3, 2 and 1 point(s). Each competitor is equipped with 3 sets of 2 golf balls that are attached to each other by a foot of rope. The idea is to wrap the pairs around the different levels until you reach 21. If used incorrectly the pairs resemble a weapon of tribal warfare. So, novice’s beware, “You’ll shoot your eye out!”

Box of Rocks: Anyone who is afraid of physical conflict should steer away from this one. You take an empty “Soda” case and fill it with enough large rocks to stand it upright on a busy side walk and wait for an energetic, intoxicated male to come by and do his best Mike Nugent impression, thus sending a shock wave of pain through his foot. If the victim lacks a sense of humor, be ready for a throw down.

Brittany?: Probably the most simple, however entertaining game I have ever had the pleasure of participating in. Set up shop on a porch along a well traveled road and simply guess the name of every girl who walks past. Their reactions are hysterical and sometimes you can make that male to female ratio a little friendlier if they find your antics entertaining.

Enjoy responsibly.

Lacrosse

Most people really don’t realize that the sport with the most history in this country isn’t baseball or football, not hockey or basketball or golf, it’s actually lacrosse. The sport was originally played by Native Americans before the days of an overrated explorer known as Columbus.

I’m not going to sit here and tell you about the rules of lacrosse and how it all works but I am going to lobby that as fans of the Ohio State University we should take notice that we have one of the more competitive Men’s Lacrosse teams in the country this season. I have had the unique opportunity to play lacrosse through high school and now commentate the OSU’s Men’s Lacrosse games on student radio. I can tell you that this team is legitimate and come May 17th they will contend for a national title in the NCAA tournament as a 10 seed.

The team is 10 and 5 with a 4 and 1 record in the GWLL and won a share of the regular season conference title and advanced to the final round of the conference tournament. Lead by senior attackman and team points leader Kevin Buchanan the Buckeyes have gone risen above all the pundits expectations this season. It has been my pleasure and privilege watching these student athletes compete all season long and I hope everyone takes a moment out of their day on the 17th to watch them play against Cornell. You will see a team with a great deal of attitude and swagger representing our school with a punishing brand of play.

The Beginning of Baseball Season

To the typical person, March 31st is just another day to send in your rent check, or flip your calendar over to April. But for me and thousands of my colleagues it is a day of rekindling an annual love affair with America’s pass-time. A day where even fans of the lowliest teams in baseball can have hope and take comfort that any given afternoon they can turn on the television and see their favorite player smash a walk-off homer.
This season is different than others given the ongoing steroid scandal and the release of the Mitchell report implicating several current and former players of steroid use. Even as an ominous cloud hovers over all of baseball, fans still flock to ballparks to see their teams open the season. Indeed the steroid scandal does not seem to diminish the population’s love affair with baseball. The evidence isn’t just in the loyal fans but also in the numbers. According to an article by Chris Isidore of CNN, the revenue of Major League Baseball has doubled since 2000 to around $6 billion dollars. Comparatively, the National Football League has grown at roughly half the rate of Major League Baseball since 2000.

As the season continues there will surely be more information released about the Mitchell report and the implicated players involved. While this fact may deter the skeptics from following baseball as avidly as they did before this steroid era, the real fans of baseball will ignore the accusations and finger pointing and enjoy the competition pageantry and unparalleled tradition of the sport. Take me out to the ballgame.